Okay party people, I binge eat. Lots. I can down the amount of calories normal people have over days and eat it in a 2o minutes. It’s like food that is orgasmic for weeks then I eat so much and drain our bank account so far that I detest that food and move onto the next one. Oh the psychological, physical and pleasure center layers that exist with this! I can’t even begin to sort it. I’m telling you this because in a few months I’m making a big decision. I’ve tried a several weight loss plans, medically supported, too. What happens is that when I go into a period of depression or a mixed episode that all my goodwill and ambition to lose goes out the window. I hate the way my body feels. Even my taste buds change. Most of the time I love veggies, but when my buds change with the fluctuations in my mood, healthy foods that I normally love cause a gag reflex.
The drugs I take in case you are wondering are:
- Nardil (old school drug – has to be refrigered and weird diet – MAOI) – Many chemists don’t know what this is and have to special order it (refrigeration req’d)
- Thyrozine (thyroid meds) (refrigeration req’d)
- Immovane (sleep – sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t)
- Adavan (only occasionally for severe anxiety)
This mix works pretty well for me. I have gained 25 lbs (about 10 kilos) from my latest 2 weeks of bingeing. It took me 8 weeks to lose that much. The lithium causes weight gain, too. Doc mentioned a drug called Vyvance today. The review on its site are AWESOME and HORRIBLE. It’s like there’s no in between. If I can take the drug, I would have to go off my Nardil because it’s an MAOI. I’d like to see if I can try it before I can go the surgical route, but I don’t know if it’s wise to get off of Nardil because it works well for me.
I’m going for another consult for weight loss surgery in a couple weeks. I don’t know what the answer is, but I’m not happy with my weight. I’m not happy with the feelings of being out of control with food. I’m an addict. No doubt. I checked out a nonprofit place for eating disorders, but their waiting list is super long. Once concern I have for the surgery is that I hear it can push you to depression because of the food deprivation and side effects like vomiting and having to eat tiny bites. I’ll see what they say. Toodles.